Comments on: I Cheated on My Daughter

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 23:34:07 +0000

I feel the same way, MamaBear. The NEED to work is as strong as my DESIRE to raise my child. I’ve never felt so closely related to Gumby as I do now!

By: MamaBear

MamaBear — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:39:02 +0000

I am struggling with the NEED to work and the STRONG desire to be home with my kids. My husband can’t find work so I’m ramping up my design and photography business. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE what I do, but I hate the feeling of always being pulled in 10 different directions all the time.

I love your style of writing – it was fun to meet you!
(via the Blog Frog Community Leader group)

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 20:52:53 +0000

I agree, there are definitely wrong reasons to do it and then there are times it can’t be avoided. I definitely had to be forced to try it, and am glad I did. I now feel better equipped to make the right decision going forward. Thanks for your input, SGTaz! Much appreciated to have a male point of view!

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 20:52:13 +0000

Thanks, Holly. My hat is off to you and all single parents who have to make such tough choices!

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 20:49:59 +0000

Hi Lori! Good to meet you as well! Thanks for stopping by!

By: Holly

Holly — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:02:15 +0000

Don’t feel bad at all! I was a single parent for 10 years and had to reply on daycare almost every day for my son. I felt horribly guilty and it really tore me up. Over time, I learned to negotiate a flexible schedule with my employers (which I felt very grateful for) and partners. While I wish I needed it less at the time, the exposure to other kids, group environments and other adults is very healthy for kids. Sounds like you made the choice mindfully for both you and your daughter so good for you!

By: Lori

Lori — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:19:04 +0000

Ah Mommy guilt will get you all the time, I have had my share. Sounds like it all turned out well!! Now that mine are now almost all teenagers, I can say it won’t be the last time with the Mommy guilt. I think we always second guess ourselves, but the good news it is usually turns out fine.

It is nice to meet you via the BlogFrog Community Leaders!

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:59:06 +0000

So well put. I often debated if I shouldn’t always keep my foot in the door as well. For some, Mommyhood is all they ever wanted to do. But for many of us, giving up our careers to choose the hardest, most thankless, selfless career of all was tough! It’s never too late however, to resurrect your previous career or choose to do something new. You don’t seem like the type to let 7 years away stop you! Not to say that work is always the answer, but as you said, SOMETHING. Whether it’s work, a hobby or sport… it’s important for us to continue growing and have our own identity separate from our children. I do believe it’s good modeling for them and makes us better parents. I hope you’re finding yourself again!

By: Mama Bird

Mama Bird — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:09:48 +0000

You’re an inspiration, Alisa!

By: Tea and Bonbons

Tea and Bonbons — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:05:55 +0000

If parenting choices were easy, we’d all have it figured out, and guilt would be vanquished. Fact is, what works for each family is uniquely different. Given your values and you still believe your daughter could thrive in part-time daycare, then do what you need to do. I have been a non-working SAHM for over 7 years and I am about to climb the walls screaming. There are some things I wish I’d done differently, like keep my foot in the door, work part-time for the heck of it, or take classes — or SOMETHING. In other words, I lived my “values” but lost myself in the process.

In a perfect world, moms (or anybody) would accept that what works for them doesn’t always work for everyone else, and we’d all respect each other’s differing needs / desires / circumstances / talents.